Farts. Flatulence. Toots. Passing gas. We all do it, but very few of us are bold enough to step up and say, “Yep, I made that, and I’m proud of it.” We would rather die of embarrassment than have someone discover that we actually let one go and some of us have come up with rather ingenious ways to disguise the fact that we’re human, and that humans fart. Can you imagine anything more embarrassing that thinking you got away with releasing an SBD (Silent But Deadly) one into the room and getting busted by a buddy asking you what crawled up your ass and died? Good times.
The thing about farts is that no two episodes of flatulence are exactly alike. Each one is different, depending on the foods a person has eaten and his or her body chemistry. (Have you ever noticed that your own farts smell OK, while someone else’s always smell kinda rank?) A fart smells because of the amount of sulfur-producing material you consume. Meat, eggs, and cauliflower are common examples of foods that tend to produce stinky farts, whereas beans don’t tend to be responsible for ones that irritate the nose.
Why Do Farts Smell Like Chinese Food
1 Megan Fox’s Theory
This one makes about as much sense as anything else, so here goes. The actress stated, “If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like—you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.” The last part was a bit too much information, but if you have just finished eating Chinese food and you fart, you may have Chinese food on the brain, so everything is going to smell like Chinese food. At least according to Megan Fox, who we know wouldn’t steer us wrong.
2 Digestive System Bacterial Soup
When you eat something, the food moves through your stomach and into your digestive system. It is pushed into your intestines. These are not simply empty tubes, but are packed with bacteria that play a role in digestion.
The bacteria help the body to break down the food more efficiently. As they get on with this important and necessary work, the bacteria produce gas as their own waste product. When the food breaks down, it also produces its own gaseous cocktail of hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and methane. Fart gas also includes some oxygen and nitrogen from air that we swallow, which makes sense.
The Chinese food fart smell comes from the work performed by the bacteria in your intestines. Those little guys create substances that are just dripping in sulphur, called mercaptans. The mercaptans and the nitrogen content combine to produce another type of gas, called hydrogen hydrogen sulphide, which gives a certain je ne sais quois to the aroma of the flatulence.
More Fart Facts You Need to Know
1 Stinky Fart-Producing Foods
If you want to avoid the problem of stinky farts, stay away from red meat, cabbage, and eggs. They tend to wind up creating a major stink-fest in your digestive system. Beans get a bad rap for creating farts, but they don’t tend to be really bad on the stink-o-meter.
2 Why Farts Make Noise
The tell-tale sound that the passing of gas makes is due to vibrations of the anal opening. The amount of sound depends on a couple of factors: the tightness of the sphincter and the velocity of the escaping gas.
3 Normal Amount of Farting Per Day
Studies have shown that the average person farts about 14 times per day and passes about half a liter of gas in a 24-hour period. This may sound like a lot but try counting for yourself to test out your own toots.
Some Tootin’ Trivia
1 Space Fart Fact
This is from the don’t try this at home file: If you could go into space without a protective suit (and we know that is not a good idea) and you let a really good one rip (because how often do you get to cut the cheese in space), your sphincter burst would generate enough pressure to propel you forward.
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